


The She in the He

by Moosie



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: F/M, Fili wants everyone to stop referring to her as a he, Gen, Kili wants her sister to cover up, Kinda one-sided Fili/Legolas, Legolas develops a sudden crush on Fili, Thorin just wishes his niece would put her clothes back on, fem!Fili - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-12
Updated: 2014-08-04
Packaged: 2018-02-08 14:37:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1944879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moosie/pseuds/Moosie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hobbit Kink Meme Fill;</p><p>Fili is fed up with all these Elves calling her a 'him'. (or humans calling her 'Prince'.)</p><p>So she pulls down her trousers and announces (loudly and with swear words, most likely) that she's a girl and do they fucking mind?</p><p>Bonus: Thorin and Kili both want to go cover her up but they know that if they - or anyone else - touched her, she'd break their arm.</p><p>Double bonus: Legolas gets a crush and is all flustered because he might have seen girls naked before but, um, wow.</p><p>I just really like fem!fili, okay?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Don't look at me.

Maybe it’s the Elf that looks down at her that makes Fíli snap; maybe it’s the way the Elf _reaches into her chest armor_ that makes her the angriest. She’s endured this “lad” and “prince” business for far too long now and she’s growing right sick of it from even her fellow Dwarves. She is most certainly _not_ a male and they would all do damn well to remember that! She was future Queen of Erebor; she would no longer be taking this kind of nonsense from anyone.

So, Princess Fíli, daughter of Víli, did the first thing that came to mind the moment the Elves tried to lump them all together as “disgusting males” and dropped her pants. Literally.

“I. Am. Not. A. Fucking. Boy!” she shouted. She pulled off top of her armor as well, showing the entire company of Dwarves as well as the Elves that she very much did have breasts. The Elf holding her knives dropped them almost immediately, looking shocked that he’d simply _reached_ into her bosom, race be damned. “Do you see this?! _I am not a fucking boy._ ”

“Fíli-!” Kíli squeaked, a blush flaming up on his cheeks at his sister’s unashamed drop of her clothing.

“No, Kíli, I am fucking _sick_ of being called a male!” Fíli’s got sort of a feral look in her eyes, and she points at Thorin, who’s trying to make his way over to her. “Touch me, Thorin, _and you will regret it!_ ”

“Master—” the glare Fíli throws Legolas’s way could possibly kill Orcs, but Legolas is blushing faintly at having the Dwarf woman’s gaze upon him, “Mistress Dwarf.”

“What,” Fíli snaps, but the anger is beginning to bleed from her form, her breathing is beginning to slow.

“Would you, please—” and that manages to make Fíli freeze a bit, because the Elf is saying _please_ to _her_ , a _Dwarf_ “—put your clothes back on?”

And maybe it does finally dawn on the Princess that she’s standing almost entirely naked, save for the wrappings on her chest, in front of her fellow warriors and _Elves_. Mahal’s beard she must have looked like a whore or something. But Mahal be damned if she wasn’t gonna set the record straight for these assholes.

“I will put my clothes back on when you all recognize that I clearly _do not_ have a penis and stop referring to me as the _Crown Prince_!” Fíli decided.

“We understand, Fee, now please, put your clothes back on!” Kíli pleaded. His sister didn’t even acknowledge him at this point.

“Mistress—Fíli, is it?—I ask that you heed your brother’s words,” Legolas didn’t look the Princess in the eye, clearly embarrassed to have seen her body without the armor. She truly was a beautiful Dwarf, even if Legolas didn’t often (and by often he meant _ever_ ) find Dwarves attractive. He felt ashamed to be gazing upon her figure (never mind the fact that he’s _seen_ females naked before; Legolas has seen many females before in his lifetime).

“ _Fine_ ,” Fíli hissed at him, pulling her clothing back on finally, “But if you call me a male again, you will regret it.”

Legolas nodded in agreement, if only because he didn’t want to upset the feisty female again. Kíli and Thorin finally managed to get to Fíli’s side, and did their best to keep their distance (so as not to possibly find a wayward knife in one of their legs) while also covering Fíli from prying eyes. Fíli didn’t seem as upset by this as she redressed herself, huffing a bit before brushing past her family.

Legolas walked closer to Fíli as the group of Elves led their prisoners into the hidden kingdom.

Maybe, if during the Dwarves’ stay, Legolas treats Fíli significantly better than the others, but that's only because she's a lady, no matter her race, and he refused to allow the others to treat her as anything less.

Fíli was just glad that _someone_ was acknowledging that.


	2. Miffed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like writing Fem!Fili okay?!
> 
> I'm probably gonna skip around on the timeline a bit. Sometimes I'll be far in the future, sometimes I'll be way in the past. I might do one scene immediately after the other or I might write what led up to a scene.
> 
> Just know that I have a journal full of writings so far. Most of them unfinished.

Fíli felt her eye twitch as Kíli moved to help her out of the barrel. It would seem, she thought to herself, that he would need another lesson in why she was the older and stronger sibling. _She_ had helped to train Kíli herself, and the little troll was treating _her_ like a fragile gem!

“Kíli,” Fíli started slowly, standing on her own two feet at last.

“Yes?” Kíli looked clueless for a moment before the look on his sister’s face dawned on him. He took several steps away from her.

“S-Sorry!” he stuttered out. The look on his face made Fíli sigh and shake her head.

“It’s fine, Kee,” she smiled, ruffling his hair. She recognized that he was only worried for her safety; he hadn’t meant to seem overbearing or anything of that nature. She gently bumped their foreheads together.

“I can take care of myself, though. Future queen and all, remember?” she grinned at him and then went over to their burglar, who was pacing this way and that.

While his sister went to speak with Bilbo, Kíli went to speak with their uncle on the matter of the Elf prince, who had shown clear interest in Fíli, though Fíli herself hadn’t noticed, too concerned as she was with making sure everyone understood she was the Crown _Princess_ , not _Prince._ Kíli’s fingers tightened into a fist as he spoke with Thorin. If that damned Elf thought he was gonna steal his sister away he had another thing coming!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They'll also be either short or long >_>;


	3. Accommodations

Fíli grumbled as she took a few steps into the actual _room_ she had been given. She had fought with the Elves when they dragged her up and out of the cell, her brother and uncle shouting for the disgusting tree-shaggers to let her go, the rest of the company shouting obscenities at them. At one point Fíli managed to bite one of the Elves holding tight to her, wounding him, but she wasn’t immediately reprimanded, which confused the Dwarrowdam more than anything.

“Is it to your liking?”

Fíli jumped at the sound of the voice, turning on her heel to look back at the Elf standing there. It was that blonde Elf from before, the one that had asked her to fix her clothing back in the forest. She hadn’t quite caught his name, but then again, the Company wouldn’t be staying in these caves for too long. Fíli knew that eventually Bilbo would come and find them with a plan. For now, they just had to worry about staying alive and not giving in until then.

She turned back around then, looking around the well-furnished room with the bookcase on the wall and the simple bed in the corner. A soft chair was sat by what looked to be a window. A plan had only just begun to formulate in her mind when the Elf cleared his throat again, making Fíli turn towards him again, an eyebrow raised in question.

“The room overlooks the throne room,” the Elf explained, having seen where Fíli’s eyes had wandered to. She rolled her eyes. Of freaking course.

“Right,” she replied, before turning fully to the Elf.

“Why am I here?” she finally demanded. “I want to go back to my Company.”

“I’m sorry, Mistress Fíli.” Fíli’s nails dug into the skin on her arm at the name, a feeling surging within her that she assumed was anger, since that was still boiling near the surface under her flesh. “But you are a lady that deserves better accommodations than the… others… that you came with.”

“Better accommodations?” Fíli sounded offended, even if she was the tiniest bit flattered that the Elf recognized her as a woman. But she didn’t need any special treatment. She could work just as hard as her comrades. She worked for her meals and she shoved the others just as they would her. Fíli was just as much a warrior as her brother or uncle; she could hold her own a battle. Her gender had nothing to do with anything.

“Miss Fíli. You are a lady and you deserve nothing less,” the Elf seemed adamant. Fíli turned her back on him.

“I am—Legolas. Prince Legolas,” the Elf continued now. Fíli snorted, wondering why she needed to know his name. “And you are the King under the Mountain’s niece, Princess Fíli?”

Fíli made no noise to show she was listening, even though she was. The Elf, Legolas, seemed not to realize this, however. He sighed. Fíli heard his footsteps heading toward the door.

“Food will be brought up to you soon.” Fíli turned back to him abruptly.

“What about my friends?” she asked, concern flashing in her clear blue eyes. Legolas froze for a moment, the faintest pink blush dusting his cheeks again, that gaze piercing him through.

“They will be served at the same time you will, do not worry.”

Fíli looked relieved to hear that. She turned away again, hiding the pleased smile on her face.

“Well then. Alright.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was anger. She doesn't like him.
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Yet.


	4. Invitation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I like writing this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think I write Thranduil correct, you know? I honestly don't think I do him justice. I don't do Legolas right either :(

Thranduil, admittedly, did not _care_ if one of the Dwarves was a female, nor did he care if his son wished to move her somewhere… better. She was still a Dwarf and she had still trespassed in his lands, and Thranduil would be _damned_ if he let any of those arrogant bastards out of his dungeon before he knew what it is that they were planning, traveling through his wood as they were. Even if his son did plead with him a bit, King Thranduil would not be moved on the matter!

“She may be more inclined to speak if… she is in a better environment,” Legolas finally says in an attempt to persuade his father.

And persuade him he did, because the prospect of finally knowing exactly what it was that the Dwarves were doing peaked his interest. He wanted to know— _needed_ to know what they’re planning. If that was all it took to make the female Dwarf talk, or even one of the males if they thought he was torturing the female or anything of that nature, then he supposed putting her in better living arrangements was fine.

(He would never actually torture her, of course. He had a thing against hurting woman. And as unattractive as the Dwarf was his son apparently _liked_ her, and his son could be a force to be reckoned with at times. Maybe he was a bit of a pushover parent, but he was also a king dammit, he could afford to be!)

“Fine. Place her in one of the spare rooms,” Thranduil finally sighed. A mildly wicked smile crossed his features. “We’ll invite her to breakfast, after she’s adjusted a bit.”

Legolas felt slightly uneasy at the idea, but he didn’t show his concern on his face. Instead, he left the throne room and had a few of the guards follow him into the dungeon. As expected, she put up quite the fight.


End file.
